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Low Self-esteem Is Another Challenge I’ve Had to Face

I like to refer to myself as a candy-coated treat: a hard shell on the outside with a soft, gooey middle. Since being diagnosed with scleroderma, I’ve often had to toughen up my hard shell to take on the difficult changes — like hand and facial deformities — this disease…

I Wish ‘Feeling Better’ Was Permanent

Cradled in my husband’s arms is one of my favorite places to be. His 6-foot-2 frame engulfs me in a blanket of warmth and safety. When I’m in pain, his cuddles calm me like a weighted blanket. On rare occasions, I have the opposite of a flare-up: I’m…

My Top 7 Scleroderma Self-care Items

When dealing with scleroderma, some things are necessities. Following are the seven must-have items that best help me to manage symptoms and practice the best self-care possible. 1. Heating pad I need my heating pad. I keep one on the couch. Yes, old lady business right here, but the body…

Learning to Catch My Breath With Interstitial Lung Disease

I stare at the two flights of stairs in front of me, wishing there was a magic elevator. With no other choice, I start climbing, slowly. Suddenly, my breathing is shallow. I inhale and exhale rapidly, my lungs desperate for air. Grasping the handrail, I steady myself and finally reach…

With Scleroderma, the Pain Is Relentless

Picture in your mind the most painful thing that has ever happened to you. Now zero in on exactly what the pain felt like, looked like, or even smelled like. For me, there is no greater pain than having ulcerated wounds. I never really knew the feeling of true…

Art Is My Outlet for Coping With Scleroderma

When I was diagnosed with scleroderma at 19, it was dumped into my lap. The doctor simply looked at me and said, “Get your affairs in order and work as long as you can. Scleroderma has no cure and will ultimately take your life.” To say I was affected mentally…

The Strange Gastrointestinal Sounds of Scleroderma

I remember it like it was yesterday. The classroom was quiet. My stomach suddenly decided it was angry with me for skipping lunch. The grumbling gastrointestinal noises were like thunder to my easily embarrassed self-esteem. Acting nonchalant, I looked around to see if anyone had noticed, hoping it was only…

Scleroderma Offered Me a Path to Self-acceptance

We all face a lot of pressure to appear perfect — educated, attractive, healthy, capable, and independent. This can be a big pair of shoes for a “normal,” healthy person to fill. Now imagine how difficult it is for someone with a chronic, debilitating illness to check all of those…