Kim Tocker,  —

I’m 49 and live in Christchurch, New Zealand. I was diagnosed with Limited Systemic Scleroderma in 2013, and the disease has slowly progressed over the past three years. Prior to my diagnosis, I worked as a Counsellor/Therapist in private practice, however I was forced to close my practice in 2014 because the fatigue associated with the disease had become profound. Well before I studied, trained and worked as a Counsellor many years ago (at least 20) I was employed as a Dental Assistant. It is my belief that whilst working in this capacity I handled a number of chemicals that are now considered dangerous and this exposure may have been the trigger for my disease, together with an already existing genetic component. These days, my full time job is to work hard at my self-care and manage my symptoms as best I can. Part of this management is to reflect on and write about my experiences about living with Scleroderma in ordinary day to day life. This helps me a great deal, and I hope it helps my readers, both those who also suffer with Scleroderma, and to help raise awareness in those who do not. I enjoy adding a little humour to my writing, because honestly, I feel it’s important we all have a wee laugh from time to time. However, my writing usually includes a serious reflection of some sort. On a personal note, I am the wife of one, and the Mother of three boys. My husband Max is my main caregiver, and I am very fortunate to have such a loving and giving spouse. My children are aged 21, 19 and 13, and our two oldest boys live in different parts of New Zealand to study and work. Our youngest will be starting High School in 2017. We live with a menagerie of animals, including two dogs and four cats.

Articles by Kim Tocker

Telangiectasia, Tiger Lilies, and Traditions

I always look forward to events that occur each year, particularly those involving special traditions. This Easter was no exception, and as usual, I made my “hot peace buns.” I attempt to make these every Good Friday, although it can be a mission to find the energy to…

Self-talking My Way Through My Scleroderma

For years, when I was a practicing counselor, I used cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) as a part of my eclectic approach to to working with clients. One aspect of CBT is understanding what you subconsciously or consciously believe about certain problematic situations in life. The…

Surviving Scleroderma Amid Chaos in My Hometown

Two weeks ago my world was rocked by the mass terrorist shooting in two of our central city mosques here in Christchurch.   In February I wrote a column about finding healing in kindness. Reading back through it makes me very sad. It now feels…

Exercising with Scleroderma My Way

The medical police, aka my cardiologist team, have advised me to do no more than very gentle walks. I am not permitted to do anything more intense because we are waiting for cardiology test results. No weight training, no cycling, no strenuous kickboxing sessions.

Staying One Step Ahead of Scleroderma

Sometimes when I’m sitting in my recliner thinking about the meaning of life, I find myself fantasizing about how my funeral will go.  In my mind’s eye, it’s going to be a great party, with vases of sunflowers everywhere, plenty of my special…

Welcoming Kindness Creates Space for Healing

I had to travel to another part of the country last week. The outing was unplanned, but I’m never one to turn down a road trip if the opportunity arises. I packed my car with my medications, and accompanied by pleas from my husband to drive…

I’m Bursting the Scleroderma Boredom Bubble

The chronically unwell face plenty of daily challenges, some big and some small. But my latest battle was brought to my attention by binge-watching a TV series. I am a huge “Grace and Frankie” fan and have suddenly found my life much more interesting…