The Universe Teaches Me a Valuable Lesson About My Scleroderma

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by Kim Tocker |

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Scleroderma and the Ordinary Girl

Continual flareups have been a huge challenge for me over the past few months. It seems that my days are filled with … nothing. Nothing at all, except resting on my recliner while I wait to feel better.

There are only so many weeks of nothing but feeling unwell that a girl can take before she starts going a little stir-crazy. Trying to remain positive takes energy, and unfortunately, I’ve very little of that. Life in the recliner renders me about as useless as a chocolate teapot.

It’s winter here in New Zealand. Icy morning frosts, rain, and freezing temperatures result in increased issues with Raynaud’s, both externally and internally, as well as more exposure to colds, the flu, and other nasty viruses. Our city has had a record low for sun hours this year. The days have been continually dank, cloudy, and dull. Things have been on a go-slow for me. Actually, things haven’t been slow, they’ve been on “stop.”

I noticed that I had lost the light at the end of the tunnel. Then this happened:

(Photos by Kim Tocker)

We had two sunny days and spring sprung!

Isn’t it beautiful that just when I had lost my way and become stuck within the depths of the recliner, the wisdom of nature stepped in?   

The bright yellow of the newly opened daffodils presented me with a glowing golden light at the end of the tunnel. This gave me hope, but also offered an understanding that something bigger than scleroderma, or anything else for that matter, is present.  

I only have to look at the seasons to understand the concept. They come, and then they go. Every year it’s the same; it is a cycle, and we can be sure that without fail, the pattern of the seasons will repeat its reassuring beat. I am reminded that this universal law is everywhere within nature as I watch the waves on the ocean responding to the moon’s pull.

It reminds me that there is always an end, that “this too shall pass,” and that my flares follow the same pattern: They come, but they also go. While there is invariably a beginning, just like winter, I need to hunker down until I see the first signs of change as my body mends and continues into the next phase of healing and resolution.

There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, and an end to the difficult times. This year, the arrival of spring has reminded me of the powerful message of hope that the sacred rhythm of the universe brings.  


Note: Scleroderma News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Scleroderma News or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to scleroderma.


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