Finding Strength — Lisa Weber

Decades ago, you passed quietly through the background of everyone’s busy lives. My heart still aches for you, even more now. You see, I didn’t know what you were going through for all those painful years. Your invisible illness was just that — invisible. I didn’t understand it, and…

As the meeting doors open, I’m met with the coolness of a windowless, air-conditioned room. Normally, I would welcome this gift on a sweltering summer day, but today is different. I immediately question the purity of the air I’m about to breathe in. I reluctantly enter and scan the room…

Many books have been written about finding your true love. Yet, there’s not much guidance about finding the right doctors. I suppose this didn’t matter when I was healthy. Now that I’m chronically ill, the right doctor means life or death. However, when scleroderma forced me to seek out care…

Date night with my husband resulted in mounds of clothing piling up on the bench in my closet. I was having a meltdown similar to that of a teenage girl with a zit on prom night. Nothing fit. I couldn’t zip up skirts or button pants. My stomach had suddenly…

“Did I take my pills?” I wonder as I hold three giant capsules. I stare at them and try to backtrack through my day, but I have no idea. All my mornings collide together. Now I’m faced with the choice between skipping my lifesaving medicine or taking an extra dose,…

Can you recall a time when you smiled so much that your cheeks became sore? Perhaps it was a day of joy and celebration — one you’ll happily remember forever. Or maybe you have a chronic illness and wear a smile all day to avoid ruining the party for everyone…

The pounding of my heart echoes clearly in my ears. I can see the thumps through the skin on my chest. It’s erratic, beating slowly and calmly one minute, and out of control the next. It’s like a toddler is in my chest playing a new set of drums —…

People often ask me how I continue to battle scleroderma. My answer mirrors that of many others fighting awful diseases: I have no other choice. I may not have chosen to live with scleroderma, but my husband, Ross, does every single day. In the beginning, we fell in love hard…

The bell echoes loudly, signaling the fight’s start. The energy and stakes are high. Gloves on, two boxers face off with intense determination. Only one will be crowned champion. Living with scleroderma is uncomfortably similar to being a heavyweight boxer. Every day is spent tirelessly preparing for the next…

“Look, Mom!” My teenage daughter bounds excitedly into the room to show me her phone. The screen displays a message adorned with fancy scrollwork designs. She reads the words “June is Scleroderma Awareness Month!” Her smile radiates happiness. I know I should be elated that awareness is being spread…

Messy is the best word I can use to describe a flare-up caused by scleroderma. My home, my thoughts, my life — they all unravel, and it’s messy. When my body is weak and consumed by aches, I spend a lot of time under blankets. During a flare-up, my…

The room is dark. My feet are tingling with pins and needles as they dangle off the foot of the bed. For a moment, I convince myself that I can stay like this for a few more hours. I pull my knees toward my chest to bring my feet back…